Former AKB48 member also advises against telling a woman “You’ve sure gotten fat recently.”
Earlier this year, Japanese vocalist Minami Takahashi retired (or “graduated,” to use the industry parlance) from idol megagroup AKB48.
The 25-year-old Takahashi still remains a well-known and widely popular figure in the Japanese entertainment world, though, and last weekend she made an appearance on long-running TV program Music Station.
While Takahashi was on the show, the conversation turned to what sort of men have trouble impressing women, and Takahashi opined that communication is a major stumbling block for some guys, especially when a woman is opening up about something that’s been troubling her.
Making things particularly exasperating, according to Takahashi, is that there are only three simple phrases a guy needs to use when a girl is talking to him about her problems: “Hmmmm,” “I see,” and “That sounds like a really difficult situation.”
“When a girl is talking about her problems, these three are all you need,” asserted Takahashi.
“But while it’s a good thing to have empathy for a girl, haven’t you noticed how guys say what their take on the situation, their conclusion, is? Why do they do that? I think that’s why they’re not popular with girls.”
Now that she’d gotten the ball rolling, Takahashi moved on to other conversational shortcomings she’s observed in men. “Guys are quick to say things like ‘You’ve gained weight recently,’ ‘Your makeup is really thick,’ and ‘The lines of your face look really tired.’ They have no chance of being popular with girls! They say too much.”
While Takahashi definitely has a point about the importance of being a compassionate listener and not forcefully shifting the conversation to your own thoughts and feelings, her later complaints about men making cutting remarks suggest she may also have an extraordinary amount of personal experience talking with tactless jerks.
Here’s hoping that she gets to deal with nicer, more considerate men from here on out.